Life and Death

Its kinda wierd talking to a person who is contemplating suicide, its like all this immense pressure is on you as you have to be patient with them and try to make them see the alternatives to life, one wrong move and your not sure what they are going to do, cut themselves or even worse, suicide. Hmmm its quite hard to be patient when she cannot face reality, sometimes i even wanna tell her to stfu and stop whinning and go forget and move on but yeah its quite hard

Faith

I was talking with this girl i accidently added on facebook and we ended up talking about relationships, she said that she justs sometimes need someone to be beside you, well i thought the complete opposite cause i believe im still too young for relationships, but still back to my point, im just use to not having anyone beside me, no one to talk to, the reason why is just cause i was raised up to not trust anyone.

When i was small, my parents always told me to trust them, most of the promises they told me were broken and every time they said trust me I am making your life better ends up making my life worse.

Tbh I don't even trust my closest friends, I'm just like that, it's just my experiences have spurred me to become like this.

BBQ + allan's house :)

So i went to bicential park with girra and ruse kids and had an awesome time, then we went back to Allan's house and yeah i just became ROWDY AS and done random stuff.
hmm grounded for 2 weeks what to do???
well:
- become fitter (as in cardio wise = sprinting/running)
- find a job ( actually going to resort to fast foods cause i desperately need money :( )

Collecting an Ipad tomorror from UWS :) but seriously don't know if it is the right uni for me + main round offers are coming out and im still deciding to go to which uni :/

Free iPad :)

So I went to UWS to collect my free iPad and also caught up with martin, man I haven't seen him since hsc well prince I've got my iPad I've been on it 24/7 fuarrrr inb4 I turn into an apple fan but yeah tbh their apps are so convient and is ideal for uni use

On a side note, friend just made an event today which is a clubbing night :0 problem is that my rents are against drinking and clubbing so I needs somehow convince them to let me out at 9pm to about 3am fuarrrr + ism grounded as well :( well hopefully if I'm allowed hopefully I am able to travel with a friend cause I don't wanna travel by myself.

My love life

I was talking with my friends Daniel and Roberta when we ended up talking about our future, especially our uni life and girls. Daniel and I ended up making a bet of who can get a girlfriend first, WOW this is going to be INTERESTING.

Tbh I don't even know if I'm going to find myself in a relationship in the near future, I just have a lot of priorities in life such as getting a job, study hard to see if i have the chance to transfer whilst maintaining a social life, I don't really think if i can put a relationship in this busy schedule.

I'm also hopefully phase out my gaming time, my gaming addiction has hindered my education and my social life so I'm gonna attempt to keep gaming to a minimum so i have more time to socialise :)

But in all honesty, even if i somehow end up having spare time and If i have enough time to foster a loving relationship with someone, I don't think I can even handle it, I still find it to define the word LOVE, what does it mean? how to show, give or lose love? how to express or hold love? I still find it hard to answer these questions.

2012 reflection + new years resolution

2012 has been a crazy year, it started off with the fireworks at Sydney Harbour Bridge and yeah the only thing on my mind was HSC, i was destined to fail due to my below average grades and poor results, going to tafe, and not knowing what to do for the rest of my life, my dream job to be either a physio or exercise physiologist was impossible to achieve, but not knowing God had a better plan for me.

I remember struggling with my grades and was constantly furstrated about it, one night at youth, Ben and Bernie ( my youth leaders) approached me and started talking at how school is going, when i told them i was not doing too well they devoted their time in helping me with grades, its amazing how their encouragement and aid has allowed me to achieve greater than i expected, even though im disappointed at my ATAR, God has allowed me to have an early offer in UWS for exercise and sport science, although i didn't make it into my course, i am one step closer to achieving it, hopefully im able to study hardcore and be able to transfer in second year or something.

Its weird at how much people have changed  throughout this year, the amount of attention seekers and try hard most of my grade got, i just left the school with happiness, fuar my school is trash, especially teachers

well during 2012 has been a crazy year, I've learnt so much things:
- how to prioritise things that matter in life
- became more sociable
- realised who true friends are
- watching people who you thought were your friends leave and not a single fuck was given
- how to study
- exercise is important
- always find time for people who matter to you


well  for 2013, its going to be a tougher journey than last year, I'm finally an adult and have so much to dream for, well here are my new years resolution:
- study hard
- exercise hardcore
- socialise
- get a job
- take opportunities which are on the spot and go for it
- achieve something in life