so this is what we were learning in physics today, the chain reaction of nuclear bombardment, this is just an example of how chain reaction occurs :)
well after the prac, we sat down with a sub teacher named Wayde, he talked about his past life and his experiences as he went through in order to obtain his current position.
He summed us his resonating speech by giving a quote one of his teachers in high school told him.
"If your not scared of your dreams, your not dreaming big enough"- Wayde
he encouraged us to set our goals and constantly persist in your dreams, he told us that every person that says your too stupid to do something, to dumn to do this, to ignore them and keep going. he finished by telling us this, i became a teacher because i wanted to help out students like us, if someone takes all these words into consideration, i will leave today a happy man.
To be honest those words have impacted on me greatly, I remember my whole life struggling to keep above average grades, my parents use to call me stupid, dumb, useless, I couldn't take this anymore and gave up on school, i hit rock bottom, getting addicted to gaming, chasing girls, other useless stuff until i got sick of it, until i realised, i need to change but it was too difficult, i've dug myself a deep hole and looking up, there was only a spec of light.
I kept praying and praying, "God help me, how will i get through this tough time", "why am i so useless" My Youth leader, Bernie, and Ben came up to me during youth and was like "sup" "hows studying going", i told them it was not great, im failing in everything and i find it difficult to study or improve, straight away, they invested time just to help me, they both gave me notes, asked me how i was going every day, helped create and talk about studying patterns or how to study. i remember Bernie staying up till 1am in the morning helping me with my asssignment, even though he had a uni test the day after, he even called up another of my youth leaders Tiffany, who stayed up till 3am, just to assist in my assginment despite having an interview the next day. another close friend Justin also invested time to help me in maths and chem. this is when i realised, all their time spent on me, i can't just sit there and do nothing, i cannot disappoint them, so i began constantly studying and when i got my next set of results, i was relieved and cheerful, i was surprised i got in the top 10 for 3 subjects, average for 2 subjects and below average for 1 :) ive finally started to crawl myself out of this hole, and the light above me is slowly getting brighter :), I also thank God for providing such wonderful people in my lives, that even though i was a worthless person, God saw through me and forsaw the achievements i held, he has assisted me in striving towards my goals :)
Another person which has helped me significantly is a girl i've met recently, (Sherey), shes like a little sister to me :) (always wanted a sister) but i don't know for some reason, she has opened my eyes and allowed me to see that there is more to life. I've decided to quit gaming, probally once and for all (well guaranteed until after HSC), she has allowed me to realise that their is no advantage or gain from gaming, it also has allowed me to realise there are other important things to do with life such as catching up with friends, spend some extra time on studying and to learn new things, (started to learn bboying on youtube).
The way i interpret this quote "If your not scared of your dreams, your not dreaming big enough" that even though you think you are useless, not worthy of anything, God will always see you as a worthy person and guide you through the tough adversites as you transition into different stages in life. You can always avhieve your goal, even though it might take longer than another person, you can still reach the goal, you just need to stay motivated and encourage yourself, "I can do this". I cannot express my feelings of how proud i am of myself of the amount of things i have achieved over this past year, i remember how the first assesments for HSC, i failed 4 assesments and my ranks were at the bottom of the grade, but overtime through the help of my friends, brothers and sisters, i am currently ranked above average in 3 of my subjects, 1 average and 2 below average (Chem is just hard as :( but i've been devoting alot of my time on chemistry alone, and maths is my 2 units that don't count but need it for recommended studies for exercise physiology).
If your ever in doubt with yourself and think you are worthless, useless. think over of all your characteristics of why you are better at some things than other, look at the characteristics or traits that you lack and work on it, think of your weaknesses and how you can face them and convert them into your strengths. or take it from this simple quote i use to motivate to exercise or even when i am mentally challenged when studying, "No Pain, No Gain"
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